Although it is hard in today's environment, do not judge your child's development against other kids around his or her same age. It is too easy to see other kids who are either way beyond your child's level or far behind and make two very dangerous false assumptions. Either A) my child is gifted and will be great at this game, or B) my child is not good enough and it probably does not make sense to continue to play.

In both scenarios, we use arbitrary metrics to measure our child's ability and make predictions on their future. There is no right or common path for players' development in this game. All players grow in different areas at erratic rates over time while playing the game. A player excelling at 9 years old may begin to struggle at 13. A player who struggled at 9 may start hitting their stride at 13. This pattern can continue throughout the time kids play the game with many peaks, valleys, and plateaus and the uncertainty and emotions that come with all of it.

As parents and coaches, our responsibility is not to measure and judge. Our job is to help each kid "run their own race" at their pace helping them maximize all the tools they have and teaching them the critical lessons of development that will help them way beyond the field. They get to their finish line when they get to it, and they decide where that line is located.

Simply, success takes time. Sustained growth is hard. Patience, and consistent work ethic and faith in ones own ability and potential is critical to see the road to the end. Kids in sports, and often adults in life, quit working too early because either they think they do not have to because they already made it (are already good enough), or because they see the challenge as too great and they are too far behind.

Do not measure how well your child is doing by their teammates or your neighbor's kid down the street. Measure how well your child is doing by their passion to play, love for the game, belief in their ability, and dedication to learning and doing what is difficult. This is where they need our support. This is where we need to keep them focused. This is how we are advocates for our players and children.